Friday, February 13, 2004

"Linux; so easy even a woman can use it"

Very interesting article. Of course, only in Germany!

Valentine’s Day Massacre – A Cautionary Tale

Valentine’s Day Massacre – A Cautionary Tale

A young man wanted to buy a Valentine’s Day gift for his girlfriend. They hadn't been going out very long so he thought carefully and remembered that on their last couple of dates she had complained her hands were cold. He decided that gloves might be appropriate, not too personal but, nonetheless, thoughtful.

Accompanied by his girlfriend's sister, he went to Harrods and bought a stylish pair of cream coloured leather gloves lined with fur. At the same time, the sister bought a pair of knickers and they both asked for their purchases to be gift wrapped.

Unfortunately, the shop assistant mixed the items up and the man unwittingly left with the gift wrapped knickers and the girlfriend's sister left with the gloves.

The boyfriend, without checking his package, decided to deliver his present in person, but when he arrived at his girlfriend's house she wasn't in. So instead he posted the present through her front door accompanied by the following note:-

My Darling Valentine, I hope you like these. I chose them because I noticed you're not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evenings. Had it not been for your sister, I'd have chosen long ones with white buttons, but she wears short ones & they're easier to pull off.

I was worried because they're a delicate shade but the shop assistant showed me the pair she's worn for the past 3 weeks & they're hardly soiled at all. So I had her try yours on & 'though a little tight, they looked really smart. She said that the material helps keep her ring clean & shiny & as a matter of fact she hasn't had to wash it since wearing them.

I wish you'd been there so I could've put them on for you myself as no doubt many hands will come in contact with them before I see you again. Just think how many times I'll hold them in my hand over the coming year. When you take them off, remember to blow into them as they will be a little damp from wearing. I hope you'll wear them for me on Friday night.

All my love,


P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing

Speed camera van catches itself...

A good friend, Olly, sent this to me:

British newspaper report:

Four youths from Canberra, Australia pulled off a trick of breathtaking
bravado in order to gain revenge on a mobile speed camera van operating in
the area. Three of the group approached the van and distracted the
operator's attention by asking a series of questions about how the equipment
worked and how many cars the operator could catch in a day.
Meanwhile, the fourth musketeer sneaked to the front of the van and
unscrewed its numberplate. After bidding the van operator goodbye, the
friends returned home, fixed the number plate to their car and drove through
the camera's radar at high speed - 17 times. As a result, the automated
billing system issued 17 speeding tickets to itself.

Good eh?

Ladder chasers beware

It's the 13th today.

And it's Friday.

I'd avoid the obvious.


Thursday, February 12, 2004

One for the lads...

A friend sent me this - I thought it clever but I ain't condoning it!

WARNING: If you're a lady - you might want to avoid it (it's not that rude but it does have nudity).

.useful links

I've started adding useful links to the DeLorean, Porsche and Calibra pages. They are by no means complete but allow you to surf off and see what each world is all about - plus I'll add parts etc sites as I use them.

.misc updated

Just a few pics of my old Puma...

Update on the DeLorean case

Well 20 years after DeLorean disappeared to the abyss of history the stories of lost money and law suits are still fresh.

The BBC are running a story today about the figures involved (money retrieved and spent) over the years. Hopefully that's the end of it. May the DeLorean rest in peace.... long live the DeLorean!

(I don't care if that doesn't make sense!)

Is being a geek no longer geeky?

Now there is a question.

Think about it.

I think it's not. I actually think it's been proven by more than one person. Read Wil's blog and you'll be happy to see that even though he was in Star Trek (and that enrolls him in to Geek-hood with a lifetime membership free of charge) he's still cool. He writes some incredibly funny stuff and I felt almost obliged to buy his book (I wasn't, but I really wanted to read it - from both a Star Trek fan and a Geek's point of view). He also has a really interesting life (it's hard enough writing about my own... at least he can write about conventions and his TV/film work!). Surprised?

I think my Girlfriend would be classed a Geek too - things she knows, the Maths degree... but she's gorgeous and people even think she's "normal" (her words). So she's great to look at, talk to and be with AND she's a Geek... man I realise more and more why I love her so much! She's damn near perfect. (I say "near" because perfection would be having her right here... and she's not :o/ )

So at what point do people want to be a Geek - and therefore not a Geek? It'll never happen but I'm happy I'm on this side of that fence. It's a friendly place.

Right I'm off to reverse the polarity on the Warp Core's auxiliary plasma injector. Put the kettle on.


The links to ClubCalibra have changed slightly - all is explained on the NEW ClubCalibra site but just so you know - the new link is on the right above the old link.

The old forum is still alive but should be very quiet from now on - the new forum is up and it's great.

Hopefully the new site should bring CC back to life and the memberships should go through. Once that happens we'll be fully active and can get back on the show circuit good and proper.


A busy week

Yes it's certainly been one - it's not even over and I can already see the next few days being very hectic indeed.

I like to keep busy - but I hate starting work. It's a bit of a catch 22 but it's just a motivation thing - once I'm moving then I'm happy to keep going.
The last few days have had much of both - getting up much earlier than usual just to make sure I am "awake" before I get to work because, quite frankly, I'm not someone you'd want to approach if I'm still in sleep mode.

I'm doing my 9 hour day and then going off and doing another couple at the gym at the moment - not tonight (I managed to actually train tonight) but most others. I'm happy to do it - to be useful - and that I'm needed in that sense! Plus I really enjoy the public aspect and that I'm not sat at a desk - I'm out there yelling my guts out for fun; other peoples fun as well as mine. Brilliant. Can't beat the feeling.

Day work is not so great but it's chugging along. Installing SP4 for W2K (heh) isn't the most riviting of work but it must be done. At least by doing some real work I'm thinking less of burning the place to the ground (:Joke). Maybe.

I am of course off to Exeter at the weekend to see Gemma and spend Valentines with her. This I am really looking forward to because it's probably my first Valentines with a Girlfriend (at least in the serious sense). I expect it will be quiet but I'm really looking forward to it. I'm sure Gemma is more than aware of how I feel by now so it should be really special.

Leading up to that I've sorted the DeLorean - she's sold. She's being picked up in a fortnight or so and that'll likely be the last I see of her unless I attend some outdoor shows. I'd really like to see her being used as I'm never likely to touch her again! The last DeLorean "show" I attended I took the Porsche... heh.
But that's just the end of a chapter. I'll be buying another and starting work on, what will likely be, a BTTF car. I've always loved the films and they are responsible for my love of the marque - but my first image of the DeLorean was the BTTF car and I need to do it. So I'll look for an engine-less car in the near/mid future. Should be a very cool project (though I'll likely need to sell the Calibra to fund it.. but, as long as it's a modded car I won't mind!) and ironically my first DeLorean has ended up to that end a BTTF car. Bugger. Maybe I can buy it back... ah that sound - cogs turning. I'll stop that before they need greasing again (too late).

The sale also means I can free up some money to get the Porsche front end painted... hmmm.

BUT - I still cannot find a car to commute in. It's weird! I bet when I finally get a car; a hundred more will appear - all perfect for what I want. It's always the way.
That reminds me - I have a phone call to make tomorrow! I'll get that Diplomat yet.

It's nearly Friday. Wishing my life away is not clever but I love the weekends more and more! Though there is a good reason for that ;o)


If you've not visited Camarobatcave over in the blogs recently I recommend it - only the second major post is up but it's very funny (especially if you've ever worked in retail). I can certainly relate!

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

.menu update

I've rearranged and separated some of the menu links on the right. As it slowly gets larger I'll break it down and make it more readable as I go.. it's okay for the minute though!

Tuesday, February 10, 2004


I've added a link to MAMEWorld on the right in the .fun section. MAME is a multiple arcade/machine emulator with literally thousands of games available for it.
I'm still a newbie with this one - I've tinkered in the past but never really spent much time using it (I was never in to arcades when young, more home computers). However, I'm now getting interested in seeing what some of the fuss is/was about!

If for no other reason... thousands of games. Should keep you busy.

.porsche updated

My Porsche page has yet again been updated with some lovely shots of yet another cleaning session!


Why not eh! It's my site!

Putting teh worl4 2 rites

If you're reading this then the site is up. I'm still waiting on why it's being flakey.... O_o

You really can't get the service/staff/doughnuts

Anyhoo - it's late so I'm off to bed but I need to add just one more post before I do....

Monday, February 09, 2004


Under each post you should now see the word "comment". Click on it and you can comment on that post!.... it's basic but it works!

Sunday, February 08, 2004

Definition of the term "911"

Let me spend some time explaining the term "911" to you. I won't go in to the US emergency services or the point at which the US (again) started WW3 - however, I'd like to settle on the car. The one I own in fact.

It's very hard to encompass 40 years of model change in one three-number name but Porsche have done it. And... it's really annoying. Allow me to explain.

Just the other day I was approached by a fellow "human" that obvious quite liked the car.
"Is that yours?"
"No. I stole it, drove it here to the gym and will now treat it as mine, why?"
"Oh I thought it was your Dad's"

So first off we've seen the obvious problem with being my age.

Then the "person" went on to tell me how he loved the Carrera but would prefer a 4 wheel drive 911.

He actually thought these were different cars. Not that they look exactly the same or anything. (for those in the know, I realise Porsche made Carrera models in other cars). But needless to say he spent some considerable time teaching me the error of my ways.
I'll quickly add that he thought mine was a targa but when I told him it was not he said, and I quote, "Ah.... well, yours is still nice". Complete git.

Right, so ignoring the actual 911 and it's younger siblings you'll eventually arrive in the late 1980's and the 964. The 964 was the first real change in the 911 in many years. Previous to this car the chassis etc had stayed pretty much static for nearly 20 years.

The 964 wasn't immediately warmed to by the 911 community. She had large plastic bumpers for a start. But eventually the community started buying and driving them and the love arrived.
The 964 had a short blissful life that ended in '93/'94. To be replaced by....

... the 993. My car! (cries of "Hurrah" and "You can do it!" fill the void)

So briefly (and probably even a little inaccurate) here is the model line-up:

ALL of them are 911s

Carrera 2 - A boggo 911. 2 wheel drive (2WD), 272bhp. Pretty much what I now have.
Carrera 4 - The same as above but with 4WD. Slightly heavier but just as evil. I aimed for one but realise I'd likely never benefit from the extra transmission.
TT or "Twin-Turbo" - The de-facto road going model. Wide arches (at the rear - 3cm either side), bigger brakes (big reds), bigger wheels (18 inch twists), a really huge spoiler and 408bhp through 4WD. This thing is my dream.
Targa - Same a C2 but with sliding glass roof. Very nice if you like a rattly roof.
Carrera 2S - Released in the last 2 years of the 993's life. Same body, etc as the Turbo but with only the 285bhp Varioram engine* (more on that later) and no big spoiler. Worth lots if you like the look but don't need the go...
Carrera 4S - Same as above but with Turbo brakes and 4WD.
GT3 and 2 - Race prepped road cars... went like you wouldn't believe (read: stripped out). Excellent track cars ;o)

So much happened in the 911 model history and much the public won't know. But honestly - if you think you know a lot at least do some research before asking (or telling) an owner what's what! Dumbass. :oP

*Between the 1995/1996 model years the car got a VarioRam engine. Basically the same block with a different inlet manifold on it. Allowed 13 more horsepower from 272bhp to 285bhp. This brought a new light to the dash - the CEL light. I won't go in to it.

Anyway. An hour of said "numbpty" telling me he liked the new Carrera but also liked the 911 was almost too much. My only saving grace was a nice bloke that turned up to add his 2cents...

"I have a Porsche too"

Really? Cool! I thought....

Me: "What, a 911?"
Him: "No, a 944 S2 Convertible"

Well - he knew his stuff.

But even he couldn't get "monkeyboy" to understand that even his car wasn't a 911/Carrera/GT1... I smiled and nodded a lot.

Where did this end you might ask yourself?

Moron: "You know what I'd really like?"
Us: "No.. please tell"
Moron: "A Dodge Charger"
Me: "Really? Have you seen one?"
Moron: "No, I used one on Gran Tourismo... really fast!"
Me: "Uh huh"

Should I tell you where that went? No? Didn't think so.

So there you go. A 911 is a 911. But it's not a GT1. Or a targa. They aren't cars.

Next time he asks I'll politely tell him he has a third eye on the back of his head and watch him spin around endlessly trying to see it.